never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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