just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you would pick up someone in the library
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
