So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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