jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Say something about gay babies.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
