Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
barbara walters just said penis...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
