we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
