She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
