I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
