I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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