i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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