just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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