Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
