Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
