But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
