another moral hangover. fuck.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
