I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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