3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
