when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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