If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
