His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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