I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
