a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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