Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
