I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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