you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
