i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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