If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
