ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
