she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
