whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
