The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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