Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
