operation harelip BJ is a go
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
