I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
try to milk me bitch
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
