take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
