They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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