his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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