Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
