Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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