YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
