I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
meet me or not, i'm out of control
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
