I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
