The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
