sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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