yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
