i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
