did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
