wat bout pragnant strippers??
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
