I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
