he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
