I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
