its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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