my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
