I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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