yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
