they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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