I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
