The maid of honor just puked.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize